Secrets Out

As a child, my hobbies were far from eccentric. I whiled away the hours collecting coins, obsessing about Doctor Who and engaging in spirited wrestling matches with myself in the privacy of my bedroom - all perfectly legitimate for a young pup. My more peculiar fascinations - delving through the forgotten vaults of British television, hoarding vintage crisp packets, and chasing the alchemy of the perfect cup of coffee - came later, when age and money allowed for wilful indulgence.

But if Secrets Out is anything to go by, some children managed to occupy themselves with far more niche and bewildering pastimes than I could ever dream of, even as an adult.

A curious children's panel show from a demonstrably different era, Secrets Out is as simple as its participants are intriguingly odd. The basic premise, which changes slightly over the three series, is that a contestant is brought out, they perform a quick mime of their unusual hobby and the panel then has to ask a series of questions to determine said pastime. See, I told you it was simple and, no doubt, served a worthy purpose in keeping the budget low.

Secrets Out aired on BBC1 between 1985 - 87, with the first series hosted by Johnny Ball before Mike Smith stepped in for the following two series. Whilst the contestant brought out is your everyday run-of-the-mill Joe Public, the panel is much more star studded. Well, it contains child actors, with a strong emphasis on the cast of Grange Hill, hence Alison Bettles, Ricky Simmonds and Lee McDonald are all present and correct when they're not singing about the dangers of drug addiction.

The first series of Secrets Out has a points system where the panel start with 10 points and can ask questions until they run out of points - a point is deducted for each "no" answer they receive. The contestants can only answer "yes" or "no" in order to make the proceedings devilishly difficult. By the second series, however, it's a case of having a three-minute time limit to determine the hobby presented. Each episode also features a guest contestant taking part, with Roy Castle, Wendy Richards and Floella Benjamin popping in to perform a quick mime.

Secrets Out is as tough as old boots, far too tough for a man of my tender early 40s. I gave it a go, but the miming was maddeningly vague. Frankly, who on earth could divine a hobby from the ambiguous gestures hinting at bantam breeding, keeping snails and vexillology? It's migraine inducing, even with the panel serving up questions to peel back the secrets behind these hobbies. And yet, miraculously, they occasionally unearth an answer, so kudos to them. Perhaps the game rewards the restless curiosity of the young, something I’m clearly past possessing.

As a snapshot of mid-1980s nostalgia, however, Secrets Out ticks this box with ease. Johnny Ball and Mike Smith were ubiquitous back then, but somehow never overexposed. It's good to see their friendly faces here, especially Ball's inimitable eccentric uncle energy. The show itself is serviceable at best. With a wafer thin and repetitive premise stretched to breaking point over the course of a single episode, it's far from an immersive joy. I watched a handful of episodes and that was plenty. A Blu-Ray box set of the series is as likely as me taking up Wendy Richard's hobby - collecting decorative frogs.