Winning a Lunch with Brian Cant in 1981

I’ve always been careful to ensure Curious British Telly doesn’t become a rose tinted, nostalgia-for-the-sake-of-nostalgia borefest - you know the thing, see all those Channel 5 documentaries about the 1980s. Nonetheless, it’s sometimes difficult to deny that the past had some amazing opportunities.

Sure, there was nothing as conveniently lazy as, for example, Deliveroo in 1981. But did you need really need it back then? Especially when your hunger could be sated by winning a lunch with the legendary Brian Cant.

Whilst I was delving through the archives, something I find myself doing in my sleep these days, I stumbled across something fascinating. No, it wasn’t a missing Doctor Who. It was, in fact, a feature from the Acton Gazette dated Thursday August 20, 1981. And the subject of this feature, which fell under the Break-time with Richard Fenn column, was a competition to go out for lunch with Brian Cant.

It was all part of a promotional push for Brian Cant’s Fun Book live theatre show, a production which ran for several years in 1980s and found Cant joined onstage by Jonathan Cohen. All you had to do, in the spirit of Cant and Cohen’s Playaway series, was to finish a limerick started by Richard Fenn. It was a creative exercise set to get young minds thinking about where they could take the introduction of “There once was a builder called Fred...”

It’s a challenge which few children of the era would have been able to resist. Best of all, you won more than just lunch (well, for now, it was lunch) with Brian Cant (and, as it would appear, for now, Jonathan Cohen too). You would also get to go backstage at the Hammersmith Lyric theatre before Brian Cant’s Fun Book show and also watch the performance for free. Additionally, 10 lucky runners-up would win tickets to see Brian Cant’s Fun Book show. It almost sounds too magical.

Anyway, fast forward a few weeks to Thursday September 10, 1981 and the winner is revealed as 14-year-old James Hudson from Acton. Surely, he is one of the luckiest people to have walked the earth. And, by this point, his dreams had been tailored from the finest silk and displayed for all to see. For, in this edition of Break-time with Richard Fenn, we get to discover what James’ winning entry was and the story of his prize.

Going all political, James’ entry was as follows:

There once was a builder called Fred
Who built Mrs Thatcher’s new shed
She said when she saw it:
“I absolutely deplore it;
It’s a terrible colour - it’s red”

So, this was the winning entry and it bagged James, well, a slightly amended prize. James still got to go backstage and watch the show for free. But lunch with Cant and Cohen was off the table. As was lunch. Instead, James would go for a meal with Cant, and Cant alone, after the performance. Regardless of this amendment, it still represented a prize that money couldn’t buy. And, as you can see from the article, James looks absolutely tickled pink. As we all would.